Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Ways To Tell That He Isn't That Into You


On a camping trip to the deep woods he tells you that a couple of garlic capsules will keep mosquitoes away as well as those “harsh” chemical repellents.

He buys a $1M life insurance policy on YOU so that you don’t have to worry about what might happen to HIM.

He disconnects the passenger seatbelt warning buzzer because he knows you’ll be more comfortable without that irritating belt and turns off the passenger air bag because it’ll “increase fuel efficiency”.

He offers to take you and the kids on a mid-winter, midnight camping trip in a frigid wilderness area.

After watching The Godfather II he offers to take you fishing Christmas Eve, on a lonely lake and explains that you need the tarp and duct tape to carry home all the fish.

He serves you breakfast in bed with orange juice out of what looks like it may be a Prestone jug.

He buys a shovel at the hardware store even though you have no garden.

He tells you he’s pretty sure that he read somewhere that after 5 tequila shots you’ll still be okay to drive home for about 45 minutes.

He tells the evil sorceress you can’t resist a crisp red delicious apple.

He calls you up to tell you those sirens you hear outside are weather “interest” alert sirens and you should grab the camera and go outside into the most open space you can find to take neat cloud pictures.

He tells you it’s perfectly safe to use your hair dryer in the bath tub.

He consistently gives you Tylenol for a hangover.

He’s constantly telling you to get a little closer to the animal cages so he can get a better picture.

He teaches you that the best way to avoid a bear attack in the woods is to be really really quiet as you’re walking, and if you DO see a bear to run away as fast as you can.

He unexpectedly buys a large steamer trunk even though you know he doesn't share your love of travel and an axe even though you have no fireplace.

He may not be THAT into you.

But that’s just what an average guy thinks.

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