Monday, January 18, 2010

You Might Be Well Off If

If you've ever gone down to the marina in April and found your boat in your private slip with food and beer in the ice box and fresh gas in the tank without ever having so much as to have made a phone call.....
You might be well off.

If your refrigerator is always about 1/2 to 3/4 full of your favorite foods, but you never go to the store.....
You might be well off.

If you don't know who cuts your grass or how much they charge.....
You might be well off.

If you're on a first name basis with your attorney you could be a repeating felon, but on the other hand......
You might be well off.

If you're middle aged, pale, a little over weight, and still have a hot Latin lover you could be great in bed, or.....
You might be well off.

If you’re driving through Arkansas and you can’t figure out why they put tires on top of their mobile homes you may be a clueless idiot, but to be charitable…..
You might be well off.

And if you live in Arkansas and the tires on top of your mobile home are painted white…..
You might be well off.

If you’ve ever had dinner with your doctor that didn’t involve change for the snack machines in the hospital lounge, and they weren’t wearing scrubs…..
You might be well off.

If you’ve ever bought a house and not wondered (at least a little) if your mortgage application would be approved…..
You might be well off.

If you don’t know what a FICA score is, you could just be hopelessly na├»ve, but……
You might be well off.

If you were born in the United States and you speak fluent French.....
You might be well off.


If your father changed the name of your family business to something less recognizable…..
You might be well off.

If you’re not a commercial pilot but you ARE certified to fly more than one type of aircraft…..
You might be well off.

If your dad drives a Cadillac and you want one anyway…..
You might be well off.

If you don’t live in a mountain state, or on a muddy road and you STILL bought a Hummer…..
You might be well off.

If you chose diaper service vs disposables based on something besides price…..
You might be well off.

If none of your children has ever owned a pair of perfectly good, hardly used shoes from a thrift store…..
You might be well off.

If you’re wondering how YOU are going to put your kids through college…..
You might be well off.

If you have to rush around in the evening to get your kids to the “learning center” so they can get their homework done…..
You might be well off.

If you pay as much in property taxes on your vehicles every year as the “Assistant Manager” down at the fish place earns …..
You might be well off.

If you pay cash for a run down dump so you can fix it up and double your money.....
You might be well off.

If you own a horse, but don’t live within ¼ mile of that animal…..
You might be well off.

If you own more than one horse, but no cattle…..
You might be well off.



If you can afford to pay someone to whack your spouse AND a high powered defense team to get you off…..
You might be well off.

If photographers hang out in your neighbors driveway to catch you coming out to get your paper….. You might be extraordinarily good looking, OR
You might be well off.

If people are lined up to go through your garbage….. You may just be a really good cook, you may be on trial for the murder of your movie star spouse, be divorcing your movie star spouse, OR
You might be well off.

If your lawnmower is made by the same company that makes huge farm tractors…..
You might be well off.

If your front yard is big enough to put another house in…..
You might be well off.

If you live in a desert area and still have a Kentucky Blue Grass lawn…..
You might be well off.

If none of the wine in your cellar has a screw top,…..
You might be well off.

If none of your wine came from a “farm”…..
You might be well off.

If none of your wine came in a rectangular package……
You might be well off.

If you didn’t know that Sears no longer publishes a “big book”…..
You might be well off.

If you have children living at home and you don’t know what milk costs…..
You might be well off.

If you live in an apartment with a REAL fireplace…..
You might be well off.

If you don’t know what, or how to order at a McDonalds…..
You might be well off.




If you’re wearing a $500 suit of clothes but don’t have a bank card, a check book, or money on you, you might be an unscrupulous, manipulative, con artist….. but You might just be well off.

If you buy five pounds of individually priced apples instead of a bag…..
You might be well off.

If your commuter vehicle weighs more than 5,000 pounds and doesn’t say Greyhound on the side…..
You might be well off.

If the IRS will let you write off a Hummer as a legitimate business expense…..
You might be well off.

If you show up to work one day only to find out your position has been eliminated, and your first thought is that this could be the opportunity to rethink your personal priorities that you’ve been waiting for, rather than the beginning of a catastrophic financial crisis…..
You might be well off.

No comments:

Post a Comment