Saturday, February 25, 2017


So I'm making my way back to seat 16A a bit earlier today... obliquely sidestepping as I went..... trying not to bump the disinterested isle sitting "sooners" who were already seated and uncomfortably buckled into their seats, and this whole fairness thing came crashing down on my head like a carry on from an overhead bin that has shifted during in-flight turbulence.

It isn't FAIR that I have to A) Wait until everyone else is on the airplane to board; B) Wade through a sea of humanity, stopping to wait as half of them try to fit bags that they know are oversized into the tiny overhead bins, trying to be careful not to bump the "sooners" who are obviously making a conscious effort not to look me in the eye as I pass (just like high school all over again); and C) Wait until EVERYONE else is off the plane and the forgetful sooner teens have come against the flow of traffic to retrieve their forgotten copies of Tiger Beat.... until I can get off. I'm perfectly willing to pull my share of the load here, but I shouldn't have to suffer ALL of the indignity when there are so many there to go around.

How much more efficient and less stressful would it be to board the seats farthest from the front cabin door first, and then, of course, deplane those seats closest to the door first? The current method is like trying to fill a glass of water from the brim to the bottom.

And where are all the former nun flight attendants who should keep people in their seats until the people in front of them have gathered their things and are on their way up the aisle? Where are all the bossy big sisters? This business of everyone leaping to their feet as soon as the plane stops as if their haste will make the slightest difference in the amount of time it takes for them to get off the plane is simply madness, and must be stopped.

Ultimately the responsibility for this nonsense can be laid directly at the feet of those with money to pay for the more expensive seats in the front and the airlines themselves. After all, there has to be some perk to give worth to the extra cost. And how much perkier can you get than getting to "go first". Good Lord, what is this? Kindergarten? Does it matter that it takes longer and makes EVERYONE more uncomfortable? Apparently not, but it makes us "feel" better when we get to be first. It's a bit like the capital gains tax: It makes us feel good to sock it to the rich even if it means we actually get less money from the tax. It's the fairness that counts........ or raising the minimum wage: It makes us feel good that we're doing something for the poor even though the result will be that fewer poor people will actually have ANY job..... let alone one at the newer, fairer, wage.

But other than that it was a GREAT flight...... except when I realized..... somewhere high over Oklahoma that I should have taken a moment for myself back in Houston. It makes me suspect that sardines are actually packaged live and it's the trip all smooshed up in that tiny can that kills them.

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